3, The Park Wing, Callay Castle, Alnwick, Northumberland. £595K



I think if I were going to buy a chunk of castle, I would want it to feel a bit more ancient than this.  One can't imagine Rose and Cassandra pining away in here, or their father going quietly mad, or their step mother wandering about in the nude, communing with nature and dying things green.  Castles, even ones divided into bite sized chunks for easier digestion, shouldn't have beige fitted carpets.  But who would dare to set about, 'roughing it up', once they had bought it, when someone else had gone to all the trouble and expense of making it so bland and unexciting?  I can’t tell which townhouse like piece of castle you are getting, not the middle one, anyway. 









The castle is a Grade I listed building, dating from 1619.  Major additions were added to the castle in 1676, by the architect Robert Trollope, so one could perhaps boast that one lived in a Trollope, rather than like one or with one.  Various other alterations were made in the 18th and 19th centuries and it was divvied up in 1987 by one Kit Martin.

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-67011944.html


I don't know if this is a communal space, or if it comes with the private part of the property.  If it's private, then I have to admit that I don't really know how to furnish it, suits of armour?  A huge oak refectory or 'shove ha'penny' table and some benches, a tapestry or two, ancient sword chests and kists, huge oil paintings with a scenes from history?  It would seem a bit corny, maybe just a big shiny concert grand piano or perhaps one could install an organ.

At least one could go in for some more interesting colour schemes.  I think terracotta and red raddle rose, perhaps if one were a mad EUphile, one could paint the ceilings blue, with gold stars, but I'd rather you weren't and didn't.

I don't like the interior windows which are blocked off with curtains at the other side. I guess they must look in to a neighbouring chunk of castle.  I would stick a large piece of furniture in front of them, such as a livery cupboard or linen press or bureau bookcase.

The house could all be alright really, if it were furnished interestingly, and filled with mirrors and paintings, it just needs someone with imagination to deal with it.  But of course, one's whole reason for living there would be to own a castle and it would be the wonderful thought that you owned part of this piece of history, in its beautiful landscaped setting, that would give the greatest satisfaction, despite the £2k a year service charge one would have to pay for the privilege.






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